Re-reviewing Reality Bites

It’s very strange how much a movie can change for you as you grow older. Tonight, I watched Reality Bites for the first time since my freshman year of college and found that I no longer like it at all.

When I was about 19, that movie was my favorite because I thought the characters were like my friends and me. It embodied the Generation X ideal that I so wanted to be a part of.

I saw myself as the main character Lelaina (Winona Ryder), a woman of vision who had just graduated college and was out to change the world. She and her friends were dead-set on not “selling out” or becoming yuppies. They’d rather be poor and live off her dad’s gas station credit card then take work that compromises their lofty ideals.

When she meets young executive Michael (Ben Stiller), he seems like the Enemy. He is "the man" (though he claims to not be materialistic) and I at 19 wondered what there was to like about him. I mean, he was cute enough, but he wore ties and had a desk job and a cell phone. What a square.

At 19, I rooted for Lelaina’s best friend Troy, a perpetual slacker who can’t hold down the most menial of work or even graduate college - but he has the soul of a poet and he sees himself setting the world afire through his music. He’s well read and intelligent, but he rejects the notion that people Michael could ever be more than just hapless, pop-culture-driven zombies.

The movie sets up Lelaina to choose between longhaired pretty-boy Troy and the sweet, patient, youthful success of Michael. We’re supposed to believe that because Michael can’t pull together a witty comeback that he’s somehow a lesser person in the grand scope of the world than Troy’s deep, intelligent brooding Troy’s constant irresponsible and standoffish behavior is supposed to belie a heart of gold and Michael’s obvious heart of gold is just a useless token of materialism.

When I was 19, I thought Troy was the answer. Even though he’s a complete dick for the entire movie, I wanted Lelaina to end up with him because he just refuses to conform. How daring. How admirable.

At 25, I see this movie and think, “What the hell are you doing?”

As a post-college adult, I wonder who would ever pick a guy like Troy over Michael. I respect a guy with passion for his career, one who would do anything for me and bare his soul whenever I asked. I like a guy with his heart on his sleeve, even if that sleeve has French cuffs. I see employment as a sign of maturity and slackerism as a sign of childish indulgence. I know that book smarts mean nothing if you can’t apply it.

I see Lelaina struggling to find a job and to make her documentary and I say, “Get over yourself! You’re not too good for the world! Get a job already!”

And now, when she chooses Troy, I think she’s a witless little girl, following her sexual instincts instead of her brains. What reasons does she have to turn to Troy? He has proven himself to be unreliable and unwilling to grow up…yet he’s the romantic hero? What? Michael’s the one who sold her documentary and saved her from poverty. Michael’s the one who played her Peter Frampton and has “Planet of the Apes” toys. Michael's the good guy.

I realized Generation X was a generation of lazy frauds. They talked big about how they were going to change the world, but they were so busy avoiding sell-out jobs that they never even got a foothold in the adult world. In fact, my generation, the generation after, is already head-and-shoulders above them.

I have grown up to learn that having a career doesn’t automatically negate one’s dreams of making a difference. I know that I could make just as positive an impact in the boardroom as I could toting a sign outside it. And I know that all of the heart and talent in the world doesn’t make for a good life or a good person without work.

Call me a sell-out. But I can’t believe I ever identified with this sort of mindset. But I hear adulthood is funny that way.